A trip to the Expo

A dairy expo is the type of event where you can walk around all day and never go hungry thanks to all the free cheese and ice cream that are available. It’s a dairy aficionado’s dream.

The Central Plains Dairy Expo is an event where one can view all of the latest and greatest advancements in dairy equipment. This includes such things as humungous mixer wagons that are the size of a house but have scales that are so sensitive that they can tell when a butterfly lands on them. Another interesting gizmo was a self-guided thingy that herds manure with a squeegee. It’s a dairy farm’s version of a Roomba.

Robotic milkers appeared on the scene some years ago. When I first heard the words “robotic milker,” my initial reaction was, “Ha! That’s a great joke! Tell me another.” Upon being assured that such doodads are indeed real, my mind’s eye conjured up a vision of C-3PO sitting on a three-legged stool beside a cow.

This turned out to be nowhere near reality. Software and hardware engineers have whipped up several different robotic milker designs, but they all have a couple of things in common. They all use computers and lasers to map the anatomy of each cow and they all feature miniature car washes that perform udder preparation.

As I wandered the aisles of the expo, I stumbled across something totally unexpected. Nestled among the cattle fountains and free stall displays was a shiny white racecar!

Standing in front of the steely steed was a young lady who couldn’t have been more than 17. A nearby poster proclaimed the stunning news that this young lady was the sprint car’s driver.

“I’m 17 years old,” replied Bayley Ballenger when asked how old she was. Her wide smile revealed a set of orthodontic braces.

How long have you been racing?

“I’ve been racing sprint cars for the past three years,” Bayley said matter-of-factly.

You mean that you were driving a racecar before you could legally drive on public roads?

“That’s right,” Bayley replied.

Have you ever crashed?

“Not yet. I’ve had a few spinouts, but that happens to everyone.”

How much horsepower does your racecar have?

“My car has about 450 horsepower and runs on methanol.”

What did you race before strapping yourself into a sprint car?

“Driving a sprint car at age 14 was my first experience on the racetrack.”

This all sounds incredibly dangerous. What do your parents think about it?

“My grandpa Steve Ballenger raced sprint cars, so my dad, Dusty, grew up racing. Dad is still a competitor. I have raced with Dad a few times and even finished ahead of him once. Dad built my car’s engine. My brother, Blake, is 15 and has done a little racing. Blake is our crew chief.”

Bayley’s mom, Cindy, stood nearby, beaming with pride. The two of them quickly struck a pose in front of Bayley’s racecar when asked for a photo. There can be little doubt that this tableau will be repeated at some point in the near future in a racetrack’s winner’s circle.

This was all so exciting that I felt the need to top off my tank with some ice-cold chocolate milk. I cannot understand why single-serving milk is still offered in those cardboard cartons that are so hard to open that they should be classified as childproof devices. But perhaps my difficulties were due to congenital clumsiness and fat fingers.

Few things go better with chocolate milk than a grilled cheese sandwich. Fortunately, the expo had a ready supply of hot and gooey grilled cheese sandwiches. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Except when it does. Strolling the aisles, I found an exhibitor who was handing out free cups of soft serve ice cream. The flavor choices were limited to vanilla or vanilla, but I never look a gift ice cream in the mouth. I simply put it in my mouth.

A considerable number of families were viewing the exhibits at the Central Plains Dairy Expo. It was nice to see all those little kids running around or riding in strollers that were being pushed by their weary-looking parents. A lot of the kids were bribed into being good with ice cream.  

During the closing hour of the Expo, a pair of nine-year-old girls were seen sprinting from booth to booth and collecting swag. It must have seemed like Halloween for them except that instead of candy they were filling their bags with such treasures as pens and note pads.

In conclusion, I had a very fulfilling time at the Dairy Expo. It was also very filling. 

Jerry’s book, Dear County Agent Guy, is available at http://Workman.com and in bookstores nationwide.