Installing windows

Installing windows can usually be accomplished with a few effortless mouse clicks; Microsoft Windows, that is. However, installing actual windows can be more challenging.

About 30 years ago, my wife and I built an addition to our farmhouse. Our two sons, who were in grade school then, shared one tiny bedroom. They were getting on each other's nerves, which meant they were also getting on their parents' nerves.

So, something had to give.

At the time, it didn't seem likely that either of the boys could afford their own apartment, so we opted to add a living room and convert the original space into a bedroom. Each boy would get a bedroom, ending the quibbling over who left those dirty socks on the floor or whose feet reeked so badly that his roommate claimed he needed a military-grade gas mask.

We hired a local carpenter, Todd Krueger, to build the addition. Our sons and I helped as much as we could. I wanted to save on construction costs, and the boys couldn't wait to have their own bedrooms.

The central feature of the new living room is an east-facing bay window. I have seen hundreds of sunrises through that window and watched innumerable blizzards and thunderstorms roll in. I have looked out that window so often that I've probably worn out the glass.

However, over the past few years, my wife and I have noticed that the bay window was becoming increasingly drafty. More alarming was the squishiness in parts of its wooden structure. It was clear that it was time to replace the bay.

This job was far beyond my paltry carpentry abilities. We scoured our local shopper for someone to tackle this task and stumbled across a familiar name: Todd Krueger.

We phoned Todd, and he came to our place to take measurements. Todd looked much the same, except a bit older and grayer. Time happens to everyone. 

After carefully sizing things up, Todd ordered a new window. It took several months for the new unit to arrive. Maybe the manufacturer had to search for the perfect sand to make its glass.

The new window was finally delivered to our house. Todd came out a few days later to perform the installation, bringing with him two very nice young guys named Leonard and Noah.

One might think that replacing a bay window would be as simple and easy as "pop out the old one and slap in the new one." 

However, one would be mistaken.

For starters, the old window didn't want to give up its perch. Somebody — I'm not pointing fingers, so let's just say that it was a guy named "Todd" — had attached the snot out of the window when it was originally installed. The old window had more attachment points than a box of Legos.

Todd carefully and methodically began the deconstruction process, demonstrating way more patience than I could ever muster, which is why I have to hire someone. After a few frustrating minutes of cautious prying and probing, I would have reached for something more expeditious such as a bulldozer or high explosives.

Bella, our farm dog, thinks that everyone is her best friend. She hung around the job site, closely observing the goings-on like a pesky project supervisor, zipping in to give the guys kisses whenever they kneeled to work on something.

The guys took these displays of affection in the spirit in which they were intended. They would pet Bella, and she would respond by bringing them one of her toys. She seemed to think that a slobbery, chewed-up Frisbee might help the cause.

Our cat, Sparkles, is the opposite. She's suspicious of anything new. During a lull in activities, she slinked through the job site and sniffed around warily. Satisfied, she sauntered off to a quiet spot beneath the deck to take a nap.

When the old window was finally removed, much planning and consideration went into determining how, exactly, the new one should be installed. 

Again, one might think that would be simple, but one would be mistaken.

You must meticulously calculate how to fit the new window into the old opening while ensuring everything is centered, level, and plumb. Had I been in charge, I would have called in an airstrike after a few frustrating minutes.

Todd, Leonard, and Noah gently slipped the new window into place and attached it securely to the house. Just like Bella, I watched like a pesky project supervisor.

The new window looks great! I just hope that the guys don't mind getting paid with Bella kisses.